weekend trips that feel like a vacation abroad are my favorite coping mechanism. i can’t afford italy right now but i can absolutely pretend. here’s where i go to trick my brain and my instagram followers.
new orleans (i accidentally became french for 48 hours)
we rolled into the french quarter on a random friday. i ate beignets at 3 a.m. while a guy murdered a saxophone on bourbon street. powdered sugar went everywhere. i looked like a cocaine donut. J took a photo anyway. we never left the quarter. i still think i’m fluent in creole now.
my current weekend trips that feel like a vacation abroad (ranked by delusion level)
st. augustine, florida – spain without the flight
cobblestone streets. old fort. sangria flights. i spoke spanish to a waiter from ohio. he played along. we saw a pirate ship and screamed. i drank from the fountain of youth ironically. now i’m scared i’m immortal.
santa fe, new mexico – morocco but with better margaritas
adobe walls. turquoise doors. green chile everything. we stayed in a casita with a fireplace. meow wolf broke my brain. i still smell like hatch chiles.
quebec city – actual france but driveable
six hours from boston. real croissants. snow in april because canada hates me. an old man called me “ma chérie” while selling maple syrup. i ascended.
solvang, california – denmark + wine
windmills. aebleskiver. aggressive blondeness. we rented bikes and pretended we were in copenhagen. saw an ostrich farm. got drunk on aquavit and tried to speak ikea.
rules i live by on these weekend trips that feel like a vacation abroad
- speak with an accent nobody asked for
- order everything in the “local” language (wrongly)
- eat the weird food immediately
- take 400 photos like you’ll never return
- lie to your friends and say you went to europe
next targets (send help)
leavenworth, washington (bavaria but with starbucks) fredericksburg, texas (germany + brisket) helens, oregon (little switzerland in the pnw)
look, if you also want european vibes without the currency conversion trauma, pick one of these weekend trips that feel like a vacation abroad and commit to the bit.
drop your favorite “i pretended i was fancy while eating gas-station food” spot below. i need more places to fuel the delusion.
now excuse me while i practice saying “another round please” in twelve different accents for no reason.
