Explore Historical Sites Like a Local, in italy eating cold pizza with a plastic fork because i missed dinner trying to “find the real rome” and ended up in a suburb that only had one kebab place. anyway here’s how to actually blend in at historical sites instead of being the human equivalent of a flashing neon sign that says “ROB ME”
1. Dress like you have somewhere to be after
real locals don’t wear matching “I ❤️ [city]” shirts and brand-new white sneakers. i once wore a “when in rome” shirt in rome. a roman guy literally said “you’re not”
2. Go at weird times
sunrise or 4 pm when tour groups are eating. i showed up to the acropolis at 7 am. had the whole place to myself and a stray cat who judged my life choices
3. Skip the audio guide, follow a local instead
find the oldest person there and just walk 10 steps behind them. they know all the shortcuts and secret views. did this at angkor wat. ended up at a hidden temple with zero tourists and one monk who gave me mango
4. Eat where the guards eat Explore Historical
the people who work at the site know the best cheap spots nearby. ask them. got the best arancini of my life from a street cart outside the vatican because a swiss guard told me where to go
5. Learn 5 phrases in the local language
- “is this the short line?”
- “where do locals eat?”
- “sorry i’m an idiot” these have saved me more times than i can count
6. Don’t take photos of everything
real people don’t document every rock. put the phone down for 10 minutes and just look. i tried to live-stream the colosseum once. dropped my phone into the arena. still there probably
7. Bring snacks but hide them Explore Historical
most sites don’t allow food. locals smuggle stuff in their bags anyway. i got caught eating a sandwich inside versailles. the guard took one look at my sad face and just said “finish it outside please”
my personal hall of shame (so you don’t repeat)
- wore a “kiss me i’m irish shirt in dublin on st patrick’s day (i’m not irish)
- asked for ketchup at a trattoria in florence (got lectured for 15 minutes)
- tried to pay with apple pay at a market stall in marrakech (got laughed at in 3 languages)
- took a selfie stick to auschwitz (left it at security and never looked back)
the golden rule i finally learned Explore Historical
act like you’ve been there before — even if you haven’t. walk with purpose. don’t stop in the middle of crowds. pretend you belong. works 80% of the time. the other 20% you just embrace being the obvious tourist and own it.
now if you’ll excuse me i need to go practice looking italian before tomorrow because i have a date with the duomo at 6 am and zero dignity left
